Isle I Do: Philbourne and Mercedes
One year ago, stressed out by a failing relationship, her parents’ divorce problems and wrapping up studies for a doctoral degree, Mercedes Harris decided to get away from New York for a breather.
The five days she spent in Barbados would prove to be the turning point in her life – the point which would connect her with the man with whom she now plansto spend the rest of her life.
“I was so stressed out, I called my mother. I was like . . . I need to get out of New York, I want to go to San Francisco”. Instead, Mum suggested a visit to Mercedes’ retired grandmother Iris Callender, who was living in Barbados.
It was a timely suggestion. Mercedes’ grandmother was about to celebrate her 80th birthday, and the granddaughter to whom she meant so much seized the opportunity to surprise her with a Sandy Lane dinner. It would be the first time she would be returning to the island since coming to visit at age 12.
“He seated us at the bar, and then five minutes later he comes back [saying]: ‘You can’t sit here. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but you have to sit on the terrace’”.
That did not sit well with Mercedes. “Coming from New York, we just had a bad vibe from that”.
But the gentleness of this young man, his efficiency and accommodating attention during dinner, and the unusual name Philbourne led Mercedes to ask for him for his contact number.
“I realised that after graduation in May, I wanted to come back. So I figured he would be my penpal, my contact in Barbados”.
But Philbourne was reluctant to give his telephone number. “I did not give her the number at first”.
In the end, he slipped her his email address when her grandmother left the table briefly. “I said, you know what, no girl has ever asked me for my number before, so why not.”
In the next few days, Philbourne followed up with true Bajan hospitality, taking Mercedes on an island tour the day before she departed.
She returned to New York to find an e-mail: “My name is Philbourne. My friends call me Philbourne but you can call me Phil. Hope you returned home safely.” She was excited to hear from her new friend.
That became the first of daily e-mails from Barbados. “I made it a duty to check my emails every day. Whenever I saw [his email address] I would get very excited,” gushed Mercedes.
“At that time I was going though pharmacy school. He just gave me the motivation to make it through those two months. He would say: ‘If you can make it through five years, why are you having trouble for two months of school.’”
Mercedes forged ahead, completing her pharmacy licensing examinations, and headed back to Barbados, surprising Philbourne. That night he left work at 11 p.m., and bursting with excitement, headed to Mercedes’ grandmother’s house accompanied by his uncle, uncle’s wife and his cousin.
On reflection Mercedes says: “It was just the communication that we had, just meeting him in February, just speaking only through the Internet, and then us finally seeing one another again . . . it felt so nice”.
“A lot of guys in New York feel that ‘oh, she’s getting an education, she’s getting her own money, I don’t have to do anything’, that’s the mentality in New York.
“In Philbourne it was the total opposite, and that’s what really drew me to him.”
The two capitalised on every opportunity to see each other, with Philbourne sneaking visits between work shifts, sometimes after 11p.m. when he finished work and on days off.
Meanwhile, Mercedes’ grandmother was observing the interaction between the two, nicknaming them ‘Sugar Hips and Cuddles’.
During that second visit, Philbourne exposed Mercedes to real Bajan life, even taking her to Kadooment. Amidst it all Mercedes could not help but notice: “He was a gentleman. The guys in New York go out with you a couple of times and the third time they expect something. Philbourne in no way ever showed that to me. That was the most rewarding part about it”.
